I can text with my tongue
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
