all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
