So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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