I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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