so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
