I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
