are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
