Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
