You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
