There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
