Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
