Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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