nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
operation harelip BJ is a go
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
