You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He did a backflip because drugs
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
