had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
