this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
