Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
