we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
