I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
