Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize