I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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