OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
