She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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