I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
