So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm passing your future prison.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
