Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
