took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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