Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
