So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
