She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
