It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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