could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
True college students do jello shots in the library
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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