She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
