wrigley field is MILF paradise
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
