My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
