I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
