The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize