i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
