and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
