It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
