he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
