there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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