Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
