you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
