let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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