my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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