Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
