The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
