all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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