You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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