remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
