She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
