i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
