Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm passing your future prison.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize