So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
