Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
