dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
