I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
