what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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