I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
40s are totally the cure
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
